It’s been a hard couple of weeks emotionally. It is funny how even if you don’t know someone well, if they live nearby and pass away it does have an affect on you. I am feeling better today, I think because I get to drive to Wenatchee (3 hours away) by myself tomorrow to see about some of the discount grocery stores like Cash and Carry and Grocery Outlet. It will be a nice reprieve.
Anyways, a couple of weeks ago when the doctor put the ultrasound device up to my belly, he went right for looking for the gender. I could not see the famous 3 lines that are for a girl at all so I was hopeful that it was a boy. He shared in a couple of moments that now he was 100% sure that it was a boy. I was so happy! He said, “See, here is the turtle that we look for.” He pointed and I had to ask just to be sure that the penis is the head of the turtle and the scrotum the shell. You can see by my explicit picture here at the end of the pencil that we have a turtle. I thought it was a cute way about describing what a boy part looks like. I had never heard that before in all my 10 children and 28 years of being pregnant. : )
So now I get to think about Benjamin when he kicks me. I have a person to the baby now. : )
I have a story to share… Back when I was probably 6-8 weeks along, Matthew shared to me in the living room that he liked the name Benjamin. It just resignated in my spirit so deep. I loved the name dearly. It so happened that I had to go to town for a few items about 15 minutes later. On my drive there, I kept tearing up with an indescribable emotion at the name Benjamin. I just felt such an attachment to the name and felt that if it was a boy that he was really supposed to be named Benjamin. I felt the Lord was very close to me and I had trouble holding back the tears all the way home. Now I am in such joy. I know God has a reason for Benjamin to be born and to be born into our family. I am so looking forward to holding him as a newborn and seeing who he will be when he grows up.
I am on a forum in which most of the women have given their child bearing years to the Lord. One woman is pregnant with #18. Some have only two children. Anyways, oftentimes I saw that a family named a new boy Benjamin and he happened to be the last child they had. They would mention how it made sense later on as Benjamin was the last child of Jacob’s and one of names of the 12 tribes. I always said I wouldn’t want to name our son Benjamin as I wanted to keep having children, but I believe this is from the Lord. The Lord knows the place He put in my heart that day about the name Benjamin. It is a very deep thing to me. So, if Benjamin is the last, praise be to God. If God gives another, praise be to God.
Now we only have about 16 weeks left until the c-section. I am getting excited. My belly is getting in my way when I roll over in bed or do the dishes or have to pick up something off of the floor. He is big. He’s awake in the morning kicking around and every evening. I already made a nursing dress and will be washing some of little Matthew’s old baby clothes soon. We’ll wait until maybe June to set up the crib again… the crib we just put away after 8 years in practice. We are just so excited to see Benjamin. It overwhelms me with tears that we can have one more and that we can have another boy.
This day took on a new place as any day does when one receives certain news. Even in my hopes in finding out if we were to have a boy or girl today after waiting for weeks on end, it all changed immediately upon receiving the news this morning. Our neighbor Rosie called to tell us that our other neighbor Pat, 62 years old had passed away. He went in for knee surgery on March 17th and had heart failure. They went to rush him to a hospital in Wenatchee but on their way there found that he would not make it so they turned around to head back. He never made it back to the hospital.
Pat has been married to Peggy for 40 years from what Rosie shared. Though we didn’t know Pat really well, he was like a kind, happy teddy bear. They were in our home over a year ago and he came in all rambunctious playing with the kids with a Santa hat on. When my husband needed a ride to the VA hospital in Spokane 4 1/2 hours away (one way) to put my husband under to check his Barrett’s Esophagus, Pat was right there to help. He drove him there and back taking a whole day out of his own to help him. One day recently he was driving to the food bank where he volunteered and he happened to see my husband out by the gate, he stopped and dropped us off a 50 pound bag of oats. His wife so kindly took me by the hospital on the morning of my procedure last May when they found I had a hiatal hernia. Nice, nice people. Though we didn’t know them very well, we are very sad about Pat, a bit in shock and I am in sorrow for Peggy. I picked her up a couple of things today to drop by in a few days. I can’t imagine her life now without her companion, her husband.
I was driving to my appointment this morning and thought of this verse:
“A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth. It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.”
I couldn’t help but think that a person’s death will override a life that is soon to come. I did not think about our baby on the drive this morning, I thought about Pat and Peggy. When me and Leah did find out that the baby is a boy, I was relieved and a little happy for a moment but it went back to the loss of a life nearby and a neighbor who is suffering. I understand the Scripture above better today. I can’t put it into words but there is understanding there. Death is very serious and you can’t help but pay attention when someone dies… a neighbor or a loved one or someone from the past. It’s just so real.
I’ll share more about our little Benjamin in a few days or so. But, it’s a time to pray for Peggy our neighbor if anyone wants to join in.
I just found out from a site I frequent that the book, “Against All Grain” is on sale in Kindle format for $1.99. We don’t have a Kindle yet but I do have the Kindle Reader that you can download. Here is the link to the book if anyone is interested:
Though we do eat grain, I stay away from it while losing weight or trying to keep it off. Matthew has early diabetes due to his eating habits for the first 45 years of his life so this book may help us in some areas. Anyways, it just looks good and I wanted to share the blessing. I just bought it today.
By the way… two more days until my appointment. Maybe we’ll find out for sure if baby is a boy or a girl. : )
I haven’t posted for a while as we were sick with something that lasted over 3 weeks. We rarely get sick so I am grateful for that but it does take our family off course from home schooling and everything. Thank God we are well over it now. Here are a few pictures from just the past month.
Hannah doing school work. She’s usually not this “friendly” looking when it’s time for school. : )
Matthew and Elisabeth doing math work. Matthew likes to “wander” as you see here. : )
Playing with their toys and trains in their room.
Cute Tabitha sitting with Dada.
Daddy, Miriam and Tabitha… I think daddy is still sick here and taking a rest.
Miriam… hmmm, what are you thinking, 3 year old?
Sick daddy and one of the twins… I can’t tell by this picture. I think it’s Tabitha.
A little pillow that the girls sewed with their sewing machine. I taught them how to do it inside out first.
I bought some barrettes for the twins from the dollar store. I had these type when I was a child. The girls were busy trying them in their hair the next morning… I thought they looked cute. Three sick kids. : (
This was my only staged picture for my husband’s blog. I think it looks nice so I thought I would include it.
Matthew and Hannah came out of the room last week and shared that they were getting married. They got all dressed up for it. I thought they looked so cute, I had to take some pictures.
You two look so cute! It’s fun being brother and sister.
Holding little hands. One day you two will be off to get married to a young woman and a young man. I can already see how handsome you will be Matthew and how sweet looking you will be Hannah. : )